“Customize koozie. Hey! Hey, man! You wanna customize koozie? Keep your beer cold. Guaranteed!”
I looked furtively around the shadowy alley. The man lurking in the dark beckoned me in, his wares spread out on a dingy table before him. Cautiously, I sidled inside.
“What do you have?”
He gestured to the table. “Whatever you want. We make keychain, mug, cup, whatever. Special today on customize koozie. We customize koozie however you want. Want slogan? Want name? We customize koozie for you right here.”
He waved a koozie at me, and a bug ran out of it. I suppressed a shudder. Surely there had to be a better way! But with the government crackdown on free enterprise, these back-alley engravers were all that was left. And I needed to get this done.
“Come on, man, don’t take all day. Deal for you! I customize koozie, throw in bottle opener for free. Good deal, yes? Customize koozie for you?”
Reluctantly, I nodded. “Yeah, let’s do it.”
Suddenly, spotlights cut on, pinning me in place. A voice boomed out over a megaphone.
“This is the police! You are engaging in illegal free enterprise. Put your hands in the air and step away from the customized items!”
I turned to run, but I tripped and fell. Suddenly, I found myself on the floor of my bedroom, thrashing in my sheets. As I calmed down, I realized it had all just been a horrible dream. Free enterprise wasn’t dead! It was alive and well, and I was part of a shop that was keeping it that way.
So don’t turn to shady back alley deals for your customizing needs! Whether it’s koozies or keychains, mugs or megalodons, drop us a line and let us know what we can customize for you!